Surviving motherhood as an introvert

Do you consider yourself as an Introvert?

Introvert 

An introvert is a person with qualities of a personality type known as introversion, which means that they feel more comfortable focusing on their inner thoughts and ideas, rather than what's happening externally. They enjoy spending time with just one or two people, rather than large groups or crowds. —WebMD

I used to think as myself as weird because I am somewhat different to others. Then I just realised I am an introvert.

It took me a while to accept my introversion. I feel uncomfortable being in a large crowd. Other people assumed that I am just a shy type of person. It doesn't necessarily mean that I hate spending time with people, it's just that I get easily drained socializing for amount of time. I socialize in a different way and I preferred to be in a small circle. 

Introverts like me need to recharge in solitude and needed to be alone in order for us to prepare to socialize again. 

What it's like to be an introvert mom

When I got pregnant and gave birth to my son, I am not prepared for all the attention my family gave me. I don't want to be in a spotlight. I love that my family and friends are all excited for me and my baby, but I admit that I find it draining. My introvert self finds all the noise and crowd challenging and very difficult. 

As my child grows, I know that I needed to balance my needs and his needs without feeling selfish or guilty. Self-care is important for us parents and we deserve to have some space and time too.

After 3 years of being a parent, I finally learned how to balance my needs as an introvert and my role as a mother and a wife. 

Here's the keys on how you can balance this busy family life while having some space you need.

1. Wake up early

I usually woke up around 5am, an hour ahead before my son woke up. I used this time to recharge and plan ahead our day. This became very helpful for me because I have an extra time to myself without interruptions. I used this time to exercise, bike, read and meditate. Starting your day early is a good habit. 

2. Set up your own space

Have your own space in your home where you can spend some time alone when your child take a nap in the afternoon. You can spend your time to work on your craft or hobby. Some things that will give you peace and happiness.

3. Communicate your needs to your family

My husband is very considerate when it comes to my introvert needs. When it's his day off from work, it's my day off from parenting. He let me have my time to recharge and feel good about myself again. 

4. Ask for help

We are just a human being and we cannot do everything by ourselves. It's okay to ask for help. It's not a sign of weakness or not being a good mom. We shouldn't feel guilty just because we let our child in care of others even it's just for a minute or an hour. You may be needing that time to reconnect with yourself and take the world again

5. Have a routine

This really helped a lot. Me and my son have daily routine and we really stick to it. We have scheduled nap times and bed time. We also have scheduled play dates and family time. This gives us a balance. 

Motherhood can be challenging for introverts because we lose most of our alone time we have before. 

Being an introvert doesn't makes us a bad parent. All you need is just to recognize your needs and allow yourself to be you. In the end, your family wants to see the best version of you so don't be hard on yourself. On the other hand, you're also teaching your child and husband to have independence and care for themselves the way you care for yourself.

Finding that balance is a constant struggle no matter what personality type you have. All it takes is planning and balancing your responsibilities as a parent and your needs as an individual. 

Related blog: Why alone time is important for moms